Face To Face with the Man who Murdered My Father
I was a typical young woman in my early 20’s – studying business & travelling the world. Already having lived 6 months in New York and 3 months in Japan. I loved adventure, practicing multiple sports and was full of excitement & optimism about my life path that lay ahead.
On 7 April 1993 I found out that my father had been murdered in his own home. My life stopped in one second and a complicated crime investigation began.
I was never to be the same person.
It was this event that initiated my connection to ancient Buddhism teachings about forgiveness.
I followed my heart and soul and I knew Buddhism with my Yoga practice was the way to survive… a way to balance my mind, body and soul. It took 11 years to find the criminal but I never gave up my hope. There wasn’t a day without thinking who did it and why.
My life was dead.
I wasn’t alive. I was observing, trying to find light… truth.
Writing those lines bring tears to my eye because despite the challenge I overcame, I sill remember how my heart felt every day.
In July 2004 the criminal was arrested and sent to jail. Despite my 9 years of learning the knowledge of Buddhism, especially personally with His Holiness the Dalai Lama, I knew I needed an advanced tantric meditation in order to be able to meet my Father’s murderer and forgive him.
I also trained with Lama Teunsang, and I practiced for 3 years. I would sit and meditate every morning for 1 hour developing love, compassion and gratitude with visualisation. I would also recite mantras with my yoga practice twice per week.
It was like I was preparing myself as a warrior.
In October 2006 I felt I was ready to visit this man in jail. I asked my Lawyer to arrange a meeting with him but for some reason, the meeting was not properly set up and the staff at reception couldn’t reach the Jail Director to grant me an authorisation.
While they were on the phone, I walked inside the corridor and a guard asked me if I was visiting a family member or friend. I replied yes, because my intuition told me that this was my only chance to meet him. I decided to follow the guard, knowing that I was going to see the criminal without security. The guard had no idea who I was.
I immediately started my tantric meditation developing mental calm, love and compassion. It was so intense that at the beginning I could only see my hands of my body. The guard brought me to a small cell with one table and two chairs. My mind was clear, sharp and very peaceful.
The guard locked me inside the cell and left. Another door on the opposite side of the cell opened and another guard brought a man in with handcuffs. The guard removed his handcuffs, sat him next to me, then left and locked the door. I was happy to be with him. It was pure bliss.
I was in constant mindfulness, and at peace. I was the one to talk most of the time. The criminal conversed with me but cried most for the time as he deeply regretted his act. He didn’t explain why he killed my Father, but I realised there was no need to understand.
I was in such a state of peace, that I was able to forgive him.
His tears were like a river coming out of his eyes.
I have never seen so much water coming from a body. This experience was beautiful and still gives me bliss today. It taught me that everyone has an amazing power to overcome any challenges and that every human has positive and negative traits. I could feel love and compassion for this man because I acknowledged he was owning positive traits too. Only Right or only Wrong sides of a person is an illusion of our mind: both exist. If you reach the equilibrium of the two, then you will find the soul. His abundant tears were the expression of his Soul.
After a while, the guard came back and the criminal wanted me to stay longer. I left with the guard while the criminal was begging me to come back. I was at peace in my mind, body and soul. 13 years after my Father was deceased, I was able to breathe and enjoy my life again. I came out of my bubble. 🙂
Of course I would love my Dad to be alive, but I am so grateful about this part of my life. It made me so determined in what I do in life now, I never give up and I am empowered to accept more easily positive and negative sides of a person with less judgement than before.
I am so strong emotionally and physically, my mind embraces now new challenges, I know how to follow my intuition in any challenge I face which is the best access to the soul. I am so supportive with all members of my family and friends, and show them how to be empowered in any challenge. I enjoy each moment of my life, my mind is also more set to feel gratitude in any challenge solved or unsolved, I understand true gratitude is the key to your expansion, I trust the Universe.
Today it is the time to share my story, because my story is my message to tell you: ‘Never Give Up”.
I believe if I was able to overcome this challenge, you also have the ability to shift your challenges in your life, forgive people with whom you have anger and hatred with, learn how to be resilient, learn to be the master of your fate and not the victim of your life. Feel true gratitude to transcend challenges and feel energised, find a balance of your mind, body and soul and reach an equilibrium in the 7 areas of life.
I will be so honoured to support you.
Namaste,
Love,
Olivia
